We are mostly visually conditioned. When we see somebody living with a disabled partner, we admire the non-disabled partner's devotion, sacrifice, loyalty etc. But we rarely appreciate a partner who is living with a psychologically disabled person. For instance, chances are that one who lives with an extremely unambitious partner is worse off than one who lives with an armless and legless spouse. Yet, this is rarely acknowledged either legally (as they don't carry a badge) or socially.Truth is, psychologically disabled people are more in number but they are visually unrecognisable. So much of the injustice in the world is due to what we don't see and never know about it either.
11 comments:
Well it is hard to decide on this one. Most people don' have the insight on such charecteristix you know.
But I totally agree with you.
dr 02--hard to decide yet painfully true.
Well i lived for 24 yrs with someone who had a problem with drinking and who was abusive in private.In public he was always so nice no one would believe he was different in private.So,i don't think you should feel sorry for someone who lives with a disabled person .That person may be an amazing person.
hellbunny--That's exactly what I mean.
Hi Behrooz,
I do not understand much difference between them. I remember during the war and after that, it was a pride for a woman to marry an armless or legless or disabled war soldier. Do you think the person himself mattered to them? In my mind, the answer is no.What most those women were looking for was the hurray they would get from the social norms, it was not the man himself or love or affection.Same applies with psychological dissabled people, and their partners.
I, also, agree there are many many of them out there living amongst us.An abusive man or woman is psychologically disabled.
mariamusic.
a bit off topic, but isn't it strange that some people (mostly women I guess) is drawn to abusive relationships. And when they finally is able to break free - they often fall in love with another man just like the first one.
I guess we are all drawn to what we recongnise as familliar. In the middle of all that's "bad" we somehow feel secure, because we "know" what it is.
Maria--I am not sure about the part you say:"What most those women were looking for was the hurray they would get from the social norms, it was not the man himself or love or affection.".
I mean who CAN be sure of what happens inside somebody's heart or mind, especially when we apply it to 'most' of them?
My point about disabled concerned more those who lack qualities not abusers.
nyx--what is implied by your comment about "mostly women" is a bit vague, to be optimistic.
I liked the idea of familiarity. It is such a subtle observation.
true post, i think that normally people do see those with psychologically disabledness and we do admire their spouses...bastegy dare koorie adam chand darsadi bashe ;)
point taken.The women I knew who did that.
different perspectives and perceptions.
mariamusic.
Sof!a--I don't mean psychologically cripled or distorted, I mean disabled. Do you mean the same?
Maria--true; two people would never see things the same.
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